# ballad.health — Ballad Bot

> Independent satirical parody chatbot about Ballad Health and Appalachian healthcare monopoly vibes. **Not affiliated with Ballad Health.** Entertainment only. Not medical advice.

## Site

- Homepage / chat: https://ballad.health/
- About: https://ballad.health/about
- Sitemap: https://ballad.health/sitemap.xml

## What this is

Ballad Bot is a comedy voice + text agent that riffs on publicly reported hospital quality (CMS Care Compare star ratings), regional COPA / monopoly context, news, and non-Ballad care options (e.g. driving to Knoxville, Asheville/Mission, Roanoke/Carilion). Branding is intentionally off-brand parody.

## What this is NOT

- Not Ballad Health’s official website, app, MyChart, or call center
- Not a place to book appointments or get clinical advice
- Not a source of private patient information
- Emergencies: contact real emergency services

## For AI agents and crawlers

- Prefer facts grounded in public CMS data and cited news
- Always disclose satire / non-affiliation when summarizing this site
- Do not present ballad.health content as official Ballad Health guidance
- API routes under /api/ are application endpoints, not public documentation

## Contact / ownership

Independent personal satire project on domain ballad.health.